Tale of the Tiger Mother
I read the above caption in the newspaper and it immediately caught my attention. I never thought it could be an article about a human being- a mother. I read through and found that this was the story of a Chinese lady who had brought up her children with an Iron Fist- a fist-stronger than that of a Dictator. Nothing wrong with the Chinese. I know many of them who are so affectionate, kindly and loving. Such a specimen can come from any community or nation.
The more I read through, the more I was astonished at the depravity of human mind. I could not imagine that a mother would prevent her own children from going to the rest room until they mastered a complicated lesson of Piano. How would this lady feel, if she were to be prevented from going to the loo unless she learnt to play Mah-Jong.
Someone has said,” the good lord must be very humorus – for look at what all variety he has produced”. There are the good ones, the bad ones, tall and the short ones, happy and the sorry ones, beautiful and the ugly ones, good and the evil ones……………..all product of their old Sanskars. This particular specimen is certainly collecting a lot of Karma to be paid back in future lives.
Let us look at the problem from a holistic angle. My revered Gurudeva has taught that every human being is a matrix of seven different planes/dimensions-each more subtle than the previous one. One of these is called the Emotional plane. This emotional body of the children is too soft and fragile and once the same is damaged, it can leave emotional scars for a lifetime. These are difficult to heal and only holistic methods can heal these. Not very many people are aware of these methods. In India, a mother is compared to a big banyan tree under whose shade the weary children find protection and the shade. Even in ancient Hindu religion, the mother aspect of the Lord is considered to be superior to other aspects. Will a mother ever harm her child?-never.
In India, there is also a saying that’ “Spare the rod an spoil the child”. This is absolutely true. I see many parents who are so unconcerned when their children spoil public property or misbehave at home and in school and the parents look the other way. This again is a crime and involves Karma. Is it not the responsibility of parents to imbibe good human values in to their offspring and to make sure they become good human beings (and therefore good citizens)? At such moments, the rod must be used decisively with a telling effect. For this, the parents themselves have to know as to what values are important and what are not. At such time the dad or the mom should ‘appear to be a tiger’ but not become a ‘tiger’. A human being cannot be a ‘tiger’ all the time. The human emotions of Love, Compassion and affection go to a dustbin in case a person is a tiger most of the time. A tiger is by nature, a vicious and cruel animal. How can a human being claim to be so, justify this depravity in media and glorify and bask oneself in the evil light of a heinous behaviour. All my sympathies go to the little children who have so suffered and a prayer for this “Tiger Mom” –for the Lord to throw some divine light on her sick psyche. She is fortunate to have loyal children who have stood by her in front of media-probably to save the family honour, which is sacroscent to most cultures.
Amidst the conflicting views given by me above, the solution lies in Bhagwad Gita - where the Lord has advised an aspirant to do one’s duty and take a middle path, while doing the duty.
A mother is full of love, divinity and such higher emotions. It is all that the motherhood aspect is about. I do agree that discipline of mind and body is required to make an intense effort. However, the same is not to be at the cost of damage to human psyche. In my times, in our old fashioned household, there was strict discipline but our parents were very tender hearted and intensely loving in all other aspects. Preventing a child from going to the rest room tantamount to Torture.
Love is a great force and with divine quality of the Love, one can achieve the Lord. Material results can be achieved to a greater extent through ‘Love’
Hence, my advice to all mothers is-
“ Be a tiger when you need to be one. Never become a ‘tiger’ by nature or in heart. Shed the ‘tiger’ when the aim of disciplining the child is achieved and revert to being an affectionate and loving mother- apply the soft balm of love and affection once the correction has been made.
To illustrate this point further, we had a teacher who used to use a rod to give us children corporal punishment for not doing homework. It was the same teacher, who would miss his mid break lunch to guide us through the difficulty and make sure we were at the level of the rest of the class-because he loved each child of his class. These days it will be rare to find a teacher with such sterling quality I still remember him with a fond respect. Many times I pray for him that his soul may rest in Peace in the higher realms.
Times have changed now. We all have to take our Karmic responsibility. Is it not?
What can be the best prayer for the humanity? It is this
“ O Lord! Give us all a discriminative mind so that we may identify right from the wrong and take the correct decision, which will translate in to “Liberating Karma.”
May the blessing of my Sudguru ever be on all
